Later, we divorced, and the love of my life is a man who was raised Catholic, was an altar boy, and was raised in the south loving shrimp and grits and bluegrass.
I have had numerous students come out to me as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans in conversations in my office and on papers, and virtually all of them perceive and worry that their parents will have extremely negative and hostile reactions. 4) Check your own prejudice, bias, racism, and religious beliefs at the door.
I have had many students in interracial and/or interfaith relationships worry about introducing their parents to their boyfriends and girlfriends for fear of their parents’ attitudes about race and religion and the harsh comments and accusations they might receive.
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2) Many kids may know that as a parent you have a point, or that you see something they wish they had detected or done something about earlier.
In recognizing this, they are usually more reticent to approach you for fear that you will say “See, I told you so” or “See, moms are always right.” In January, a young woman came to my office to let me know that her absences had been due to being diagnosed with genital herpes.
I sat and listened, held space for her, and then gave her many resources and contacts so she could get help; but all the while I knew that her shame was a direct result of her perceptions of maternal judgment and that that would remain a big obstacle for her.
3) Check your homophobia, biphobia and transphobia at the door.
7) Your son or daughter may wind up in a study abroad program where s/he meets someone and falls in love and then wants to remain there for the summer or move back there after graduation.
You may have hoped your child would live nearby or at least an easy daytrip drive or plane trip away and not across the world.
She went on to say that she only had this one boyfriend and lost her virginity to him, but that her mother never wanted her to date him.