You brought up a few points that I want to touch on.
First, let’s talk about the whole “strong woman” / “alpha female” topic.
In the words of Benjamin Franklin [Tact and Tactfulness]: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
Also it's important to keep the mentality that even if people are judging you (and most of them really are not) who gives a fuck what they think?If someone is in that gym, staring at you and thinking "oh look at this fatty trying to lift har har!Why would he want to invite someone in who minimizes him and doesn’t appreciate him.Other than true masochists, guys who have choice don’t want this.I bring this up because often times when a woman tells me she’s an “alpha female” or “strong independent woman,” alarm bells go off in my head.
Reason being: Now, I’m not saying all of this to accuse you of being these things.
In fact, what I talk about goes for men and for women. And I can tell you – they don’t walk around all day thinking about how they’re alpha. You can have your desires met without demanding them.
What I’m advocating in this post is to identify behaviors masquerading as admirable traits. If you feel that you are attracting emotionally unavailable men to you, I suspect it could have to do with some of these behaviors. If you have any behaviors that could be construed as bullying, demanding, disagreeable or controlling, then you’ll do best to lay them to rest. And you can have compliance without intimidating the other person.
”—and I’ve had a lot of success with this approach for the past couple of years.
Until recently, that is, since I’ve started to notice an alarming trend: In three of my last four rejections, I concluded that the guy ended things with me because I intimidated him.
If I go in the afternoon when I get home from school there are a lot of people there, and It's extremely intimidating.